Relationship Advice: 5 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Woman

ARTICLE 4 THE MAN!!

Interested in a life of constant arguing,
withering stares,
and no intimacy?

Just keep using these phrases

By: Sarah Miller, Photographs by: Kate Swan (men's health)

KEY#SPEAK NO EVIL
Women freak out. Often at you.

Often for no particcular reason.



You say something that you consider totally innocuous, or even downright nice, only to find that you've offended, enraged, or annoyed us. (woman)



Your first problem--being attracted to women,
*not a big prob if u are not so attractive!*

Warning:

Some of these absolute no-no words and phrases seem so incredibly harmless,

you may think we're kidding. We're-woman not.

*we take it seriously*



Forbidden Phrase #1: "Relax."

It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who's freaking out to relax.

And IF "logical" ="stupidest idea ever,"

>> you'd be correct.

PS: Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate.

So when you tell her to relax,

you're implying that your response--

>>i.e., nothing--is correct. You're denying that there's a reason to be upset.

>> You're telling her she's crazy.

ps: Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it,

but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy

will be far from soothing.
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"I'm just as upset about this as you are.

Let's deal with it together."

>>This way she knows you're totally sympathetic.

This should help her to...oh, God...relax.

*it takes 2 hand to clap*

Forbidden Phrase #2: "I love you." (During a fight)


In movies, "I love you" is usually employed by men during I-love-you–appropriate situations--lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions.

In real life, a woman hears "I love you" most often at that point in a fight when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this nonsense and watch Alias--which you don't normally even watch.


Excuse me!!(MEN)

>>do you really believe that

merely stating the powerful existence of your love

is going to make everything okay?

*Because it's not *



Say . . .



1. "[Insert detailed explanation of what you did and why you did it.]"



2. "It won't happen again."



3. "I love you." (It's okay at the end of the apology, just not at the beginning.)



Forbidden Phrase #3: "It's up to you."

(A.K.A. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me.")


Relationships are full of decisions.

You (men)decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, where to send your child to preschool.

Most men wouldn't dream of looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying,

"You know what? I just don't care."

They would, however, say, "It's up to you."

And find themselves in a world of hurt they never saw coming.



Men think of decision-making as work without pay.

For women, it's like window-shopping for life's possibilities, and

we want you to help us shop.

So when you say,

men:"It's up to you,"

woman>> we feel abandoned.*sob sob* "(



Say . . . "I could definitely do A or B, but I'm not crazy about C.

What are you thinking?"

This shows you're

1. listening,

2.suggests you care,

3.gets you out of deciding.



Forbidden Phrase #4: "You knew I was this way when u chose to be with me!"


woman:

Well, the truth is that we didn't.

Or we knew deep down, but we were so busy enjoying our fantasy of you that we chose to ignore what was really there.

It's not your fault.

It's just that when we were little,

we spent so much time daydreaming about having the perfect life.

Now that we're actually in grown-up life, we can't turn off our daydreaming switch.



Telling a woman, "You knew I was this way when you knew me"

is like saying the way your life is right now is the way it's going to be forever and ever.

And that may well be true--in many wonderful and not-so-wonderful ways. But if she were to accept that, a little part of her would die.



wat should MEN SAYS:

Say . . . "It frustrates me, too--and I'm working on it."

*It's a lie. That's okay. *

MEN NEVER SPEAK THE TRUTH ANYWAY



Forbidden Phrase #5: (Nothing)


At times, you may be afraid of saying the wrong thing.

You may think, If I just keep my mouth shut, I'll be okay.

Imagine yourself, head hanging, going to retrieve the ball yourself and,

once again, throwing it to no one.

That's how we feel when you don't talk to us. (WOMAN)



MEN Say . . . Anything. !!!!!!

Throw the ball back.

Throw it badly.

Even risk throwing a wild pitch and

letting her take an extra base.

But keep your head in the game. ^^

*GOOD LUCK MAN* ^_^